I am back!!! ... from 3 days of Leaders Retreat, which I gave all kinds of excuses not to go mainly because I just did not want to go alone without my beloved family but the boss compelled me to go because I was "one of the senior staff". Actually the retreat was good, the venue was gorgeous and I was annoyed with myself I had not thought of bringing my family there for our own family holiday earlier. The food spread was plentiful and delicious, the speaker was one of the best and God was there in our meetings. And yet my heart ached so, so terribly to the point of breaking. Almost everyone was there with their families, spouses, children except for the singles. I wondered more than once, how do singles do it? I felt so lonely and utterly alone in the midst of almost two hundred chattering, laughing noisy individuals. On the morning I left, we sent off Calvin to Berkeley and then Diane to Kelantan. Aun stayed behind in Penang and I left for Lumut, Perak. Oh I wished to be anywhere but going to Lumut. At least with one of them would have been salve to my broken heart. Plain rice and water with them would have tasted like ambrosia and nectar to my tired body.

But now I am home!! I am so happy for familiar sights and smells. I have walked into my children's empty rooms, seen to their belongings. Aun is home. I have a dusty, dirty, untidy house to clear up. I am so glad for small mercies. I look at my favorite sites on the comp and I am somewhat settled and the ache in my heart improves by a notch. When will I ever get past this?

Diane's Graduation

In the middle of last week I panicked when I felt a lumpy kind of feeling when I swallowed. What if by some cruel twist of fate I had to miss Diane's graduation because I developed symptoms of the dreaded flu? So I religiously gargled with salt water to fend off the impending or imagined sore throat which thankfully did not materialize.

We left on Saturday morning. Reasonably early enough but not before making Diane more alarmed by the minute as I kept checking in case I missed out anything. Shoes - check, camera - check, etc. The journey felt at times slow because we wanted to be there before the office closed so that Diane could collect her robe, and at times fast because I kept reminiscing on the first journey we had taken to UTP when we sent her, first for her interview and the second for her first semester. FIVE years have passed, seemingly so quickly. In between we have experienced so much even though we were separated. As parents we had traveled this same route, to and fro, each semester for the past five years. We had sent her in with all her luggage, paraphernalia and all each semester, then moved them out again each semester's end and visits in between. Yet each trip had been a joy because seeing her more than made up for our efforts. I have grown fond of the route but this would be the last time I would be taking it as I went in with all of my family.

Everything proceeded smoothly on Saturday, collection of the robe, photo taking, dinner. Diane looked just so beautiful I felt bursting with pride. It was very nice meeting the parents of the students whom we had played host to some time or other during the past years though I wish I had more of the students at my table too but then one can not have everything. They had taken care of my girl and for that I am very grateful.

Sunday morning dawned quickly. At last. We all gave thanks and glory to God. Five years ago, we had convened as a family too to commit Diane to His care and He had been faithful and blessed us with this day. Thank you Lord, You are so good to us.

Diane, trying out her robe for size...

















(... to be continued)